you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
