Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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