You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
