he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
NoShamevember. You game?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
