We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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