People with herpes should wear stickers.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
