Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
