smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
soo... how was my night?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
