Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
someone owes me an orgasm
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
