my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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