we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
