I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
