Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize