Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
