Please don't use social media to get back at me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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