Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize