guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
