I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We're too hungover to prance.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
