Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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