so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Two words: blizzard sex
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
