do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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