We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
