so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
