The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
