HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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