i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
