Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
