that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
