i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
