you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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