remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
