your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
