I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
