am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
