Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
