If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
