On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
