I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she looked like the before picture.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
