just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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