The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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