I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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