I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
