the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
