is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
