dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
