i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
