I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She told me I should be a condom model.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
