Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
