woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
