do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
