That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i think i have herpe
just one?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
