And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
