what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
