I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
