just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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