Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
