You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
