so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
